Reluctant as I am to ever include poetry in this blog, especially my own, I do so now by special request. –SR
The Tempting of America
What have they done to our coffee,
That we pay such a premium price?
They’ve taken that brown, bitter bean
And tamed it, and made it taste nice.
They mixed it with hazelnut syrup
Chocolate, amaretto and cream;
Now coffee, once so vile-tasting,
Is no more offensive than steam.
When Americans first drank their coffee,
It was not to enjoy or relax;
They never drank coffee for pleasure,
They drank it to protest a tax!
They threw a big party in Boston.
The splash of it made the King sore;
But when they served Folgers at tea time;
They knew they were brewing a war.
When Redcoats surrendered at Yorktown,
America found its new drink.
So what if the brew tasted nasty?
It helped us to fight, and to think.
Caffeine was the fuel of this nation,
Propelling a fat GNP.
We gorged on the unseemly profits,
Do you think you could do that with tea?
Now they’re leeching the caffeine from coffee;
Our nation is not what it was.
So pretty these faddish new flavors….
But you’re screwed if you need a good buzz.
We fuss over five dollar frappés,
Espressos with dollops of foam;
We twitter the office from Starbucks
Nurse lattes all day, and go home.
No, I won’t be seduced by Sumatra!
To French Roast I won’t raise a white flag;
I’ll hold to my old-fashioned coffee,
Sit alone in a diner – and gag.