Amaze your friends and co-workers and make yourself irresistible to women with the power of ENERGY STATISTICS

 

Subsidy Doping

What is a Megwatt hour?  It’s simple kids, just go around your house and turn on ten 100 watt lamps for an hour. That’s a kilowatt.  Now imagine you’re not going to turn on ten lamps for an hour, but one thousand.  That’s a Megawatt.  Or as Gore calls it, “atmosphere lighting for my Nobel.”

SUBSIDY STATS MEASURED IN MEGAWATT HOURS:

 

1. CLEAN COAL         $29.81
2. WIND                     $24.34
3. SOLAR                   $23.39
4. NUCLEAR               $01.59
5. HYDROELECTRIC   $00.67
6. COAL                     $00.44
7. GAS                       $00.25

Democratic Drilling: Hang on to your leather Porcupine Caribou billfold you keep less than 25 miles off costal waters

 

In Lieu of ANWR

 

UPDATE: I’ve been told this cartoon was the inspiration behind the bumper sticker below.  Originally I wanted to inspire the children, but bumper stickers are way better.  Click on Your Wallet and the good folks at the Tennesee Republican Party will show you how to get one so you can cover up that fading Norris/Huckabee ‘08, sticker you stuck on your truck in your less cynical youth.

 

Obama stands by insane tire pressure energy plan. Reverend Wright jealous.

 

Accurate Reading

I was originally going to title this Obama refuses to throw tire pressure energy plan under the bus–makes his racist grandmother jealous, but I mistrust long titles.

Actually, I shouldn’t make jokes– like Comedy Central’s Oprah Winfrey Jon Stewart.  Stewart believes Obama’s tire pressure solution is so serious that he actually choked himself up as he chronicled McCain’s crass attempt to lampoon it.  So I will stop mocking as well and list some of Obama’s other OPEC busting  tips:

1. Don’t let car idle for more than 15 seconds.
2. Wax car to reduce drag.
3. Turn car off at red lights.
4. Drive down hill whenever possible.
5. Avoid driving up hill.
6. Plan your trip so you can drive with the prevailing winds…

What?  Geez.  Is Jon crying again?

Nancy Pelosi loves dirt. Hates oil. Averts national unnamed post office crisis.

 

Time Magazine ran an editorial about how worthless the 110th Congress was and managed not to mention Nancy Pelosi or Harry Reid. I thought I’d give them a plug.

By Washington metrics, they are a tandem disaster because they’ve only managed to pass 260 lousy pieces of legislation.  I don’t know how many lousy bills a Congress has to pass for Time to consider them “transformative,” but 260 makes you a do-nothing Congress, which, since 1948, is the lowest kind of Congress you can be.  Frankly, if I were ever a member of a do-nothing Congress, I would kill myself to escape the shame of it.

Anyway, here are some of the finer legislative achievements of the 110th, according to Time:

• Of the 260 pieces of bad legislation, 74 of them concern naming post offices.
• July is National Watermelon Month. 
• Dirt has been declared a natural resource; so wash your grubby hands, that filth under your nails is taxable.

Democrats once again protect us from “oil hoax”–go on vacation

Democrats are Mechanically Inclined

 

From The Say Anything Blog:

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) on Thursday shut the door on expanding oil and gas drilling beyond areas that have already been approved for energy exploration, drawing a clear distinction from her counterparts in charge of the Senate.

“This call for drilling in areas that are protected is a hoax, it’s an absolute hoax on the part of the Republicans and this administration” Pelosi said at her weekly press conference. “It’s a decoy to punt your attention away from the fact that their policies have produced $4-a-gallon gasoline.”

 

Promise Keeper

April 24, 2006, Speaker Nancy Pelosi said, “Democrats have a commonsense plan to help bring down skyrocketing gas prices by cracking down on price gouging, rolling back the billions of dollars in taxpayer subsidies, tax breaks and royalty relief given to big oil and gas companies, and increasing production of alternative fuels.” 

So now that fuel prices are breezing their way to 5 clams a gallon, what are the “commonsense” proposals Pelosi has squeezed out of the collective brain of the Democratic party?

1. Put corn in their gas tank.
2. Don’t drill for oil.
3. Sue OPEC .
4. Raise taxes on the oil companies.
5. Don’t cut the gas tax.
6. Deplete the strategic oil (700 million barrels) reserve…
7. Mock the idea that the billions of barrels of oil and trillions of cubic feet of natural gas from ANWR could make the slightest dent. 

See, this is what you get when you let a San Francisco liberal define commonsense.  Thank God we would never let them define marriage.