Cashew Cow

I never saw a cashew Cow

An almond, oat, or bean one

But vegans tell me that somhow

Those milks come from a green one

A Modest Response


I am Now a Song Writer and Producer


That Grandfather’s Clause (A collaboration with RC2)

(With apologies to Henry Clay Work)

That Grandfather Clause was too large for the bill
So it stayed on the cutting room floor;
1000’s of regs in the new ACA
But it couldn’t take a single reg more.

I signed up on the morn that health-care-dot-gov was born;
Or at least, I most dutif’lly tried.
But the page. Stopped. Never-to-load-again
And my health plan died.

90 days on Obamacare
(tic toc, tic toc)
I’m not getting anywhere
(tic toc, tic toc)
The page. Stopped. Never-to-load again
And my health plan died.

That grandfather clause was a promise O made
To give cover to the House and the Senate
Nancy Pelos’ said, “We must pass this bill
‘Cuz  I totes like to find out what’s in it.”
It was truly a shock when I learned I’d lose my Doc,
Still I won’t say the  president lied;
But my plan. stopped. never to start again
and my healthcare died.
90 days on Obamacare
(tic toc, tic toc) Etc……
Sebelius declared  that my plan was no good,
Though it treated my cancer for years.
In short, it’s the sum of all fears.
Cuz’ my oncologist has been stricken from the list
And there is nowhere else to apply;
I am dropped. flat. can’t-get-treated-again
Cause’ my old plan died.
Stanford U ‘s now denied to me
(Tic-toc tic-toc)
And Cal University
(Tic-Toc, Tic-Toc)
I’m dropped. Short. Can’t-get-treated-again.
‘Cause my old plan died.

Comes Benghazi (To the Tune of “Comes Love”)

Come the mandates, let the Court call it a tax
Come a pipeline, I can stop it in it’s tracks
Comes Benghazi, nothing could be done.

Unemployment, just expand the welfare rolls
Come election, put some Panthers at the polls
Come Benghazi, nothing could be done

Don’t call Rodham,
She won’t pick up the phone
Best start hiden’
Cause you know you’re on your own.

Come Solyendra, I can guarantee a loan
Comes the Beltway, I can criticize the tone
Come Benghazi? Nothing could be done.

Come vacation, Michelle. can take a separate plane
Come Joe Biden, I can leave him on the train
Come Benghazi, Nothing could be done

Stand down Brother.
What difference does it make
I’ll blame u-tube
While I campaign at your wake

Brian Terry? There’s privilege to invoke
Eat a canine? I can always make a joke.
Come Benghazi? Nothing could be done.

Need a pizza?
I can have a pie flown in.
Golfing lessons,
Tiger Woods can help you win.
Comes Benghazi, Nothing could be done


National Prayer Breakfast

The Tempting of America

Reluctant as I am to ever include poetry in this blog, especially my own, I do so now by special request. –SR

The Tempting of America 

What have they done to our coffee,
That we pay such a premium price?
They’ve taken that brown, bitter bean
And tamed it, and made it taste nice.

They mixed it with hazelnut syrup
Chocolate, amaretto and cream;
Now coffee, once so vile-tasting,
Is no more offensive than steam.

When Americans first drank their coffee,
It was not to enjoy or relax;
They never drank coffee for pleasure,
They drank it to protest a tax!

They threw a big party in Boston.
The splash of it made the King sore;
But when they served Folgers at tea time;
They knew they were brewing a war.

When Redcoats surrendered at Yorktown,
America found its new drink.
So what if the brew tasted nasty?
It helped us to fight, and to think.

Caffeine was the fuel of this nation,
Propelling a fat GNP.
We gorged on the unseemly profits,
Do you think you could do that with tea?

Now they’re leeching the caffeine from coffee;
Our nation is not what it was.
So pretty these faddish new flavors….
But you’re screwed if you need a good buzz.

We fuss over five dollar frappés,
Espressos with dollops of foam;
We twitter the office from Starbucks
Nurse lattes all day, and go home.

No, I won’t be seduced by Sumatra!
To French Roast I won’t raise a white flag;
I’ll hold to my old-fashioned coffee,
Sit alone in a diner – and gag.

Why Romney Won

Obama Phone

I have to say, I much prefer Obama Phone lady to Sandra Fluke.  At least Obama Phone lady is grateful, whereas Fluke would never say thank you, no matter how many abortions you lavished on her.


Judge Roberts Makes Me Yearn For the Jurisprudence of Harriet Mires

Judge Roberts, after ruling that the state has zero rights when it comes to defending it’s borders (save for the tenuous ability to ask for papers from law breakers so long as the states don’t racially profile, which will be impossible to do unless an ethnically diverse populous starts crossing in from Mexico) now has ruled  Obamacare is Constitutional  by simply retroactively calling the mandate portion a tax and not a fine.

The good news: Congress can’t fine you under the commerce clause for not engaging in commerce,  The bad news: Congress can tax you for not engaging in commerce i.e. not going to a federally approved college, not having a federally approved gym membership, or not subscribing to a federally approved  Cable TV package… oh yes, and not having federally approved health care insurance.

His explanation.”It is not our job to protect the people from the consequences of their political choices…unless they choose to defend their borders then I bring out my slap it down hand.”